A Reddit post in the popular subreddit r/Am I the Asshole? community is beginning to go viral after it ignited a fierce debate: Should concertgoers at a clearly stoner-friendly concert refrain from smoking if a pregnant woman is in the crowd, or should the pregnant woman not be there in the first place if secondhand smoke is inevitable? The responses and opinions about acceptable behavior may surprise you.
“Yesterday I went out to see a concert,” Redditor u/Vegetable_River_255 posted on Sunday. “The band I was seeing has a very heavy drug scene associated with it. I was in an assigned seat section and made small talk with the couple next to me while waiting.”
The user continued, “About 10 minutes into the first set I light up a joint, and about five minutes after the husband complains to me about his wife being pregnant. I told them both it’s a show. You came here, you can choose to leave. He tried to cause a scene but nothing happened since I just ignored them both and danced.”
Apparently, the user’s roommates took the side of the pregnant woman. “I told my roommates this earlier today and they said I was being an asshole for smoking next to the pregnant lady.”
“AITA [Am I the asshole] here?” the Redditor asked.
She Knows reported about the Redditor’s “brazen admission” to smoking near a pregnant woman “with no regard for her health or consent.” After all, the Surgeon General advises against cannabis use among mothers. Plus, they have to worry about toxicology screenings.
Most mothers in the thread agreed, and appeared stunned to even be presented with such a loaded question. However, even some pregnant women in the subreddit took the side of the Redditor who wrote the original post, saying the mother should’ve known better than to go to that type of concert.
Chaos Ensues on Reddit
The user’s responses were quite different, highlighting how differently people view our responsibilities as smokers.
“YES YTA [you’re the asshole],” WaywardPrincess1025 replied, gaining over 35,000 upvotes at the time of writing. “You shouldn’t be smoking in your seat like that. … Double YTA for doing it next to a pregnant woman. However, if I were her, I would have left or called security to move you. Her and her baby’s health is more important than the concert.”
Others suggested simply walking away from the woman first before lighting up, so there’s no issue.
“I smoke weed and cigarettes and I honestly don’t care what the rules are, it’s about consent,” replied Temporary-Tie-233. “Secondhand smoke is harmful and noxious. The decent thing to do is walk away from everyone when you smoke anything. People who choose to expose themselves can follow.”
However, others took the side of the original poster.
“I’m going to be down voted but whatever,” semmama, who is pregnant, replied. “As a pregnant woman I know better than to go to a concert and expect people not to be blazing up on stuff. There hasn’t been a concert I’ve been to where that wasn’t a thing, even shitty music. She made the choice to go there. She could have moved somewhere else if she didn’t like it but where do you go at a concert that doesn’t have pot or worse? You were asked, you refused, that’s the end of it.” In other words, is it OK for a pregnant woman to attend a concert strongly associated with pot (think Phish)?
Others appeared to agree with semmama.
“NTA [Not the Asshole] I’m assuming it’s like a Phish/Grateful Dead sort of band. It’s basically a guarantee people will be smoking all around the venue so if the woman was concerned about smoke, she should not be going to that sort of show,” portalsoflight replied.
Others took a neutral stance and suggested consuming edibles or vaping in the parking lot beforehand. This, they say, is fairly easy and allows you to be stoned at the show without bothering anyone. That way—everyone’s happy.
“Take an edible, smoke before you come in, bring a vape and hit it outside if you must. So many options these days besides forcing someone else and their unborn fetus to inhale it too.”
The debate rages on.